You Should Open A Bakery!

My Oblivious Compliments And Why I Won't Stop

A running joke in my life: "YOU should open a bakery!" This line (which I'll explain below) is one example of how I ignorantly believe I'm inspiring people to take their talents and go big—as if they have no idea.

Two examples to demonstrate my non-prophetic, but enthusiastic and encouraging words to people who don't need to hear my opinion:

1) Herb Hudson is the founder of Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles—an iconic LA soul food chain. In 1987, I met Herb Hudson at the "Tapeheads" movie wrap party (It’s a movie with my friend King Cotton, John Cusack, and Tim Robbins, among many others, as seen in the video below). After Herb gave me a plate of chicken and waffles, drizzled with syrup, I leaned over the catering table and said to him, "This is so good! You should open a restaurant."

Herb smiled and said, "Oh, you think so?"

I was clueless. That was Herb's idea, too... YEARS EARLIER. He already had a small, but massively popular chain in LA. It's now an iconic part of Los Angeles, right up there with the Hollywood Sign.

(In the video, King Cotton performs Roscoe’s Rap in “Tapeheads.” Fun fact: King introduced me to my husband, Ian, at the same party where I had chicken and waffles for the first time. Ian was producing The Bonedaddys’s record.)

A few nights later, I was at a recording studio with Ian when The Bonedaddys were recording with Bo Diddley. Herb brought a spread of Roscoe’s chicken and waffles to the studio. How lucky was I, dining on delicious food with legends in music and food? Damned lucky.

2) In the early 2000s, I went to the premiere of a documentary about Cuba. Before the film, I walked over to some of the Cuban food goodies. A woman with a big smile handed me a cookie, saying, “It’s a dulce de leche besito.” The crisp meringue melted in my mouth, followed by salty, sweet, and creamy caramel sliding over my tongue.

I told the woman who gave me the cookie, "Oh my God. This is amazing. You should open a bakery!"

That woman? Betty Porto—daughter of the founder of Porto's Bakery, another Los Angeles institution and chain. Betty's the current owner of Porto’s, carrying on her family’s legacy of Cuban delights.

I should find Mick Jagger and let him know I think he might have a career in some new music I heard about called rock-n-roll.

Now when I point out someone's obvious talents, my husband Ian will say, "You should open a bakery!"

Okay, I cringe at how oblivious I may have sounded, blurting my ignorance proudly. But I did so with pure intentions. I love to encourage people who do things well. I also cheer on people who are not already in the big time. 

My heart glows when people tell me they like what I do—it feels good.  

An encouraging soul in my youth: Mrs. Levy. She was my English teacher at Terra Nova High in Pacifica, California. Mrs. Levy told me she loved my essays. I used to stay after her class to talk with her about books, as she encouraged me to continue writing. I couldn’t wait to write and hear what she had to say.

Thank you, Mrs. Levy. 

People who send people off into the world feeling good about themselves, I believe, create ripples of positivity. Try it! Give someone an authentic compliment, and see how they light up.

You can thank or blame Mrs. Levy for my first book, “Craving Normal.” I’m currently working on my second book, tentatively titled, “How To Stay Broke And Influence Nobody.”

Photo credit: Judy Felsenthal Spizer. My friend Fred and me, during my book launch.